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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

14 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Breaking via Threads:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Just landed via TikTok:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Spotted on Twitch:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Reported on Pinterest:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Home » Funny Saying Quotes

84 Funny saying quotes

Funny saying quotes shine a spotlight on those classic one-liners, twisted clichés, and offbeat expressions that make us laugh every time! 😂💬 Whether it’s “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode” or “If at first you don’t succeed, hide all evidence you tried,” these sayings take everyday wisdom and give it a hilarious spin. Because sometimes, the best thing to say is something totally ridiculous! 😆🗣️🎉

New funny saying quotes 👇

13 hours ago
Share →: At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Commentary:
Therapist: "How are you today?"
Me: "Let's not sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff. 😂🤷‍♂️🛋️"
2 days ago
Share →: Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Commentary:
When that "I’m sorry" hits harder than your toughest pose 😂💔 #GangsterLife ✌️
6 days ago
Share →: The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Commentary:
I dennis this comment so much, I've already sent it 47 letters and a mixtape 🚀✉️🤣
1 week ago
Share →: Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Commentary:
Me in therapy: "Guess what, I adulted today!" 😂💪 #AchievementUnlocked 🏆✨
1 week ago
Share →: I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're breaking the ice with a dance battle invitation! 💃🕺😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Commentary:
Someone's been chewing on idioms instead of their veggies! 😂🌿🥦
2 weeks ago
Share →: My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Commentary:
"Oops, looks like you're trying to connect to a forgotten network! 📵🚫 #NoSignalInThePast"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Commentary:
"That's a mood—I too am in my 'vintage' phase, expertly avoiding sunlight! 🍷🕶️🌞"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"
2 months ago
Share →: One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Commentary:
"Officially traded my dance moves for tree trivia! 🌳🕺😂 #Adulting"

For even more funny saying quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny saying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

14 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Live now on WeChat:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Live now on Discord:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Live now on Slack:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on Slack:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

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