Commentary:
I'm still waiting for my refund after that salad scam! 🥗💸
267 Funny things quotes
Shout out to people who rate and review things, because I don’t like to rate or review things, but I like to know how things are rated and reviewed.
Commentary:
Big cheers to the unsung heroes of opinions! I get all the scoop minus the typing. 📣📝✨
Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.
Commentary:
Trying to flirt? I'm more like an unripe avocado—awkwardly hard to handle but potentially delightful! 🥑😅
I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.
Commentary:
Whale, I guess they thought that name was "sperm"-endous! 😂🐋🔞
Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.
Commentary:
After all these years, looks like the chat app finally got a breather! 😂🤐📢
No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.
Commentary:
When life starts resembling a bizarre TV script, just remember Rod Serling probably wrote the original episode 📺👽 #TwilightZoneFeels
I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect mix of a book club and a plot twist! 📚😈
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.
Commentary:
I tried being both attractive and talented, but the universe said "Pick a struggle" 😅🌎✨
Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.
Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert! 😂✏️🗑️
Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.
Commentary:
When a grocery trip turns into hide and seek! 🛒🔍😅