Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Making waves on X:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Seen just now on Twitch:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Spotted on X:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Going viral on Messenger:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Trending via Messenger:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize the cat's emotional support skills unmatched and you're over here starring in a drama series no one asked for 📉😹

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, communication, frustration, getting, humor, i, shirt, technology, tired, trying
I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moments, care, comfort, comfortable, dental, dental care, dental hygienist, extra, extra pay, humor, hygienist, i, moments, pay, silence
There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

0

2 weeks ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler
You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, husband, know, knows, marriage, marriage advice, mastery, relationship, shout, take, thing, understanding
My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dogs, f-word, floor, food, hear, humor, kitchen, pet, pet behavior
This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

65 shares on X this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Seen just now on X:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Live now on X:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Spotted on X:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Seen just now on X:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Making waves on Telegram:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨