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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Seen just now on Threads:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Making waves on TikTok:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Shared recently on X:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Breaking via Telegram:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

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Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.
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Commentary:
When you realize the cat's emotional support skills unmatched and you're over here starring in a drama series no one asked for 📉😹

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

88 shares on X this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

95 shares on Threads this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Spotted on Instagram:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending via Telegram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Spotted on Twitch:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

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