Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of words – who knew a paragraph had the magic touch to improve relationships? 📜✨ Maybe I should start sending essays to get that VIP treatment! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"

belief, better, communication, delusion, expectations, humor, paragraph, relationships, someone, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

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2 months ago

activity, alcohol, beer, beers, casual, drinking, five, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, plan, social, where, yourself
When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

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2 months ago

appointment, comfort, early, humor, i, late, leave, leaving, me, pajamas, party, say, social, someone
Girls Just Want To Have Naan

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2 months ago

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words
Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

0

2 months ago

actor, actor switch, benoit, Benoit Blanc, best, blanc, bond, celebrity, character, comedy, craig, daniel, Daniel Craig, ever, film, film character, happen, humor, james, James Bond, leaving, movie, movie role, role, switch, things
Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

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2 months ago

alone, animal, animal attack, animals, attack, danger, death, dogs, fear, fighting, group, humor, me, pet, scare, street, walking, while
The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

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2 months ago

being, diet, humor, joke, lifestyle, secrecy, vegan, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

69 shares on X this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Shared recently on TikTok:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Spotted on TikTok:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨