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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Love is in the air fryer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Going viral on Discord:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Just landed via Threads:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

2 months ago

0

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs words when you have those adorable puppy eyes and spontaneous tail wags? 🐶❤️ Pets have mastered the art of winning hearts without saying a word. It's their silent charm that makes us fall head over heels for them! 🐱💕 #PetMagic"

animals, coincidence, companionship, everyone, humor, love, pets, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

0

2 months ago

comedy, difference, good, heavy, hippo, humor, joke, lighter, little, night, punchline, thank, wordplay, zippo
You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

0

2 months ago

assumptions, head, humor, imagination, lot, perception, psychology, relationships, self-reflection, someone, stuff, tell, thoughts
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

0

2 months ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, cooking, dishwashing, drunk, host, humor, kind, same, show
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

0

4 months ago

better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times
A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

0

2 months ago

bad, compliment, confidence, dating, flirting, humor, humor quote, insta, looking, man, me, media, message, said, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Drilling for oil is well boring.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Breaking via WeChat:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Going viral on Facebook:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Just landed via YouTube:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Seen just now on X:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Going viral on TikTok:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

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