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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

38 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Just shared via Discord:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Breaking via Messenger:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Broadcasted on Threads:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Home » Funny Talk Quotes

117 Funny talk quotes

Funny talk quotes highlight those moments when our words just don’t come out the way we intended! 😄🗣️ Whether it’s saying something awkward, mixing up your words, or accidentally speaking your thoughts out loud, these quotes remind us that talking can sometimes lead to hilarious misunderstandings. After all, a slip of the tongue can turn into the best laugh of the day! 😂🤭💬

New funny talk quotes 👇

21 hours ago
Share →: It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Commentary:
When the small talk supply chain runs dry by midweek 😂🙌 #SilenceIsGolden
2 days ago
Share →: Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Commentary:
Silent treatment: Level 100 achieved! 😂🤐💁‍♀️
7 days ago
Share →: Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the professional benchwarmers of life! 🛋️🙄 Why do when you can discuss?"
7 days ago
Share →: The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"
1 week ago
Share →: Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Commentary:
"BRB, on a mission to rescue my foot from sock distress! 🧦🚨🤣"
1 week ago
Share →: Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Commentary:
"Turns out collecting rubber ducks and competitive potato peeling are way more fascinating than spreadsheets! 🦆🥔🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Commentary:
"Imagine the drama these walls would dish out! 📢🧱 Gossip Central reporting for duty! 😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Commentary:
"Want to master humility? Just follow my lead—I'm the best at being humble! 😎🙌 #HumbleBrag"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩‍⚖️📜"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Commentary:
"Finally found my true calling: forest life coach for squirrels! 🌲🐿️🗣️"

For even more funny talk quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny talk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

38 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Making waves on Reddit:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Going viral on YouTube:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Breaking via TikTok:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Making waves on Facebook:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Live now on Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

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