Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"

dating, deserve, DM, less, me, sarcasm, self-worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

56 shares on Discord this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

73 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Trending via Facebook:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Making waves on Telegram:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Just landed via Telegram:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Just shared via X:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨