Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"

dating, deserve, DM, less, me, sarcasm, self-worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry coffee, asked, barista, coffee, drink, espresso, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, smaller, smaller drink, word
Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

0

1 month ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

0

2 months ago

animals, me, release, trust, zoo
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

0

2 months ago

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying
Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

0

2 months ago

communication, confusion, even, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, idea, kids, language, meaning, means, slang, still, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

88 shares on Facebook this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

37 shares on X this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Spotted on Discord:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Live now on Discord:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨