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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Live now on Telegram:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Going viral on Discord:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Live now on Twitch:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Making waves on Telegram:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Humorous text warning against unwanted DMs with a witty, blunt tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I only drink when I people.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

58 shares on Threads this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

73 shares on Instagram this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Trending via Messenger:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Just shared via Threads:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Just landed via Telegram:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

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