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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

42 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Spotted on Messenger:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Reported on Facebook:

Time needs a speed limit.

Just landed via Messenger:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Shared recently on Reddit:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Going viral on Discord:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

6 months ago

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

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Commentary:
Oh, dear! Looks like someone's devices are feeling a bit drained and can't power up those creative ideas! 🤖🔋 Don't worry, we can definitely find some non-battery-operated inspiration to spark your genius instead! ⚡💡 Let's leave those tired devices to recharge while we dive into some electrifying new ventures! 🚀💥

battery, dependency, devices, humor, leave, loneliness, me, own, self-reliance, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

42 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Breaking via Facebook:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Trending via Messenger:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

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