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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

131 Funny leave quotes

Funny leave quotes πŸ˜‚ have a way of making even the most stoic boss crack a smile. Whether you’re plotting the great escape from your desk πŸƒβ€β™‚οΈ or just daydreaming about sandy beaches πŸ–οΈ, these quips will tickle your funny bone and make your farewell memorable. Ready to unleash your inner comedian as you wave goodbye? Start practicing your best mic drop 🎀 and prepare for an epic exit!

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

β€œI’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

β€œI’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, β€œWe needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

β€œPTO” stands for β€œprepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

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