Commentary:
When your email game is so strong, you almost ask it for an autograph 📧🔥😂
186 Funny own quotes
I’m not crazy. I just reject reality wholeheartedly and create my own.
Commentary:
Living in my own sitcom, and the laugh track is on repeat 🎬😂
Started using my own money and realised my mum was right, we do have food at home.
Commentary:
When I saw the price of takeout, I suddenly remembered that dusty can of beans has a Michelin star 🌟🍽️🍛
I’ll quit smoking if they invent another activity that lets me leave a group and go stand outside on my own for 5-10 minutes.
Commentary:
When escape rooms start hiring breaks outside, I'll quit too! 🚶♂️➡️🚪️😅
Ragebait idea: like your own texts during an argument.
Commentary:
Liking my own texts during an argument: because sometimes, you just have to be your own biggest fan! 😂👍💬
Every player that takes a stutter-step penalty should be blindfolded and left out in the desert to find their way back on their own.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to improve both their penalty skills and their sense of direction! 🏜️⚽🤣
What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.
Commentary:
Looks like we're fishing for compliments, not cash! 🎣💸
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.
Commentary:
Mixed signals? My WiFi has better connection! 😂📡🚫
Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.
Commentary:
Borrowing cigarettes to save for the zombie apocalypse 🧟♂️🚬💼