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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Live now on Pinterest:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

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Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.
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Commentary:
That's one way to cut costs! Who knew singlehood came with financial perks? 💸😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Shared recently on TikTok:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Just shared via Messenger:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Making waves on Reddit:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on WeChat:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending via Threads:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Trending via YouTube:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

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