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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Going viral on Threads:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Going viral on TikTok:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Trending via Threads:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one way to cut costs! Who knew singlehood came with financial perks? 💸😆

divorce, divorce lawyer, humor, lawyer, relationship, saving, single, staying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

5 days ago
communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word
There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

4 weeks ago
behavior, humor, irony, never, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pleasing, reason, social, social behavior
Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

1 month ago
car, comparison, Cybertruck, Deplorean, humor, joke, technology
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

1 month ago
dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

1 month ago
after, charcuterie, denial, eating, finished, food, humor, licking, me, party, plate, saw, snack
Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

1 month ago
asked, awkward, awkward moment, cooking, food, funny response, hobby, humor, i, lasagna, me, moment, panic, response, someone

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Shared recently on Slack:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Just shared via Threads:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Shared recently on Slack:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

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Activity Log ✨

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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