My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

I am single, please disturb me!

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Tested positive for being single af

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.