Commentary:
"With your track record, even a bicycle seems risky! 🚲😄"
154 Funny single quotes
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?
Commentary:
🤣 Seems like marriage comes with a "requires assistance" label! 💍🔧
I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.
Commentary:
Sounds like single sign-on needs a caffeine upgrade! ☕🔑😅
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.
Commentary:
Well, maybe if expiration dates were printed on foreheads, we'd all be a little nicer 😂🤝⏳
I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.
Commentary:
Navigating the cocktail of single life and late-night feelings like a pro! 🍹😅🌙
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.
Commentary:
When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦♂️
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.
Commentary:
Sounds like being in a relationship is just a series of "I'm sorry for napping" marathons! 😴🏃♂️🌀
Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.
Commentary:
Looks like even the mold thinks I’m a fungi! 🍄😂
Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.
Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔
I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.
Commentary:
Dating: the only time stomach butterflies are both romantic and a symptom of illness 🤦♀️🦋