Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Breaking via TikTok:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Making waves on Messenger:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Going bananas on Slack:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Just shared via Discord:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Just shared via Telegram:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Just shared via Facebook:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Spotted on Discord:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking 'chilling out' to a whole new level! ❄️😜 Who knew snow could be so steamy! 🔥❄️ #WinterCourseGoals"

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor fun, sex, snow, winter, wintercourse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

0

2 months ago

acting, chill, energized, happy, humor, morning, people, sarcasm, Teletubby, thing
Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

0

3 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

0

2 months ago

being, big, career, comedian, comedy, comedy career, dark, dark comedy, entertainment, failure, hit, humor, killer, much, Netflix, own, podcast, popping, serial, serial killer, special, spend, success
I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

0

3 weeks ago

aging, am, bathroom, complaint, forty, frustration, going, humor, i, should, sick, time, tired
I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

0

2 months ago

Bigfoot, hiding, human, humans, humor, i, nature, right, solitude, stay, think
My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

0

2 months ago

condiment, favorite, food, hard, humor, joke, pun, sauce, say, taste, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

97 shares on Discord this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

33 shares on X this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

83 shares on Facebook this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Live now on YouTube:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Spotted on YouTube:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Just shared via Slack:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨