Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Going bananas on Slack:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Making waves on Reddit:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Trending via WeChat:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Just shared via TikTok:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Live now on WeChat:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Just landed via Slack:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking 'chilling out' to a whole new level! ❄️😜 Who knew snow could be so steamy! 🔥❄️ #WinterCourseGoals"

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor fun, sex, snow, winter, wintercourse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

0

2 months ago

boundary, dynamics, everyone, going, growth, humor, less, ok, people, people pleaser, personal, personal growth, pleaser, sarcasm, self-improvement, social, social dynamics, try
My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

0

2 months ago

Don, humor, husband, i, joke, just, last, name, relationship, walk, wordplay
I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, before, finished, hate, hope, hot, hot water, humor, i, run, sarcasm, shower, water
At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

0

2 months ago

able, bedtime, beer, being, drinking, frustration, help, humor, i, insomnia, maybe, point, relaxation, sleep, sleeplessness, throw, towel
My first mistake was leaving the womb.

0

2 months ago

birth, humor, leaving, life, mistake, womb
The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

0

2 months ago

age, birth, birth year, born, digital, digital age, getting, humor, i, little, nostalgia, scrolling, technology, thing, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

88 shares on Threads this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

15 shares on Messenger this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Going viral on Telegram:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Shared recently on X:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Going bananas on Discord:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨