Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.
  • My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.
  • A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.
  • I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.