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When cigarettes need a cuddle after a good time ๐๐จ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ
117 Funny sex quotes
My boyfriend is absolutely refusing to do this sex position where he sits at the piano and plays a song about me, and I lie on the bed and shed a single perfect tear.
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I mean, with multitasking skills like that, you'd think he was Beethoven's rival! ๐น๐๐ง
Honestly, I thought adulthood would be way more sex, and way less knee pain.
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Adulthood: where romantic nights become ice pack and Advil parties! ๐๐บ๐๐ง
My neighbor said he heard me having sex today, but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.
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Sounds like your air conditioner deserves a privacy warning label! ๐ท๏ธ๐จ๐
Shaving your balls before going out gives a 100% guarantee you will not get laid.
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Looks like the secret to a quiet night in has been uncovered ๐๐โ๏ธ
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?
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As an amateur carpenter, I can confirm: beds are known to suffer from performance anxiety! ๐๏ธ๐จ๐
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?
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Napping: the underrated luxury of adulthood ๐ดโจ#CouchGoals
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?
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Finding out it wasnโt your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet ๐ซ๐๐
I lied, there is no sex. Youโre helping me repot plants.
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Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! ๐ฑ๐๐ชด
When my friends and I talk about sex, itโs never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.
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Adding a lab coat to the mix of passion and experiments! ๐ฉโ๐ฌ๐ฌโค๏ธ