Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs to conquer the world when you can conquer the comfort of your bed instead? 💪😴 Ending the year with a power nap – now that's the real flex! 🛌💤 #BedBoss"

bed, dominance, ending, humor, lazy, relaxation, show, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

0

1 day ago

culture, family, food, hate, humor, sarcasm
One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

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2 months ago

activity, challenge, childhood, discipline, eviction, eviction notice, fort, humor, jobs, kids, kids activity, notice, parenting, parenting challenge, pillow, pillow fort, playful, playful discipline, serving
Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

0

6 months ago

avoidance, cancel, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, plans, procrastination, social, social plans, sorry, want
I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

0

2 months ago

Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

0

2 months ago

3, bad, craving, desire, dollars, humor, i, joke, know, million, money, pregnant, wealth
Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

0

2 months ago

always, blocking, buffer, climax, enough, humor, i, just, need, Pornhub, prank, relationship, revenge, someone, videos

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

13 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

82 shares on X this month:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Live now on YouTube:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just landed via YouTube:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Seen just now on Threads:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Just shared via Discord:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Just shared via Discord:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨