73 Funny show quotes

• 

  18 hours ago

  Share →: Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

  Commentary:
  Another rule? Just call me the "Rule-ette"! 😜🚦💥

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

  Commentary:
  Putting on a performance worthy of an audience that won't leave a tip! 🎭😂📸

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

  Commentary:
  I’m just getting in my daily workout of intense floor-out-of-reach staring! 💪📺😂

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

  Commentary:
  Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

  Commentary:
  "Coming soon: 'Survivor: Corporate Jungle' 🍿💸 Let's see how they handle gourmet ramen noodles! 😄🍜"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

  Commentary:
  "When your productivity level is higher than the clouds 🌿⛅ but you still forget where you left your phone 😅📱 #PabloProblems"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

  Commentary:
  "When you're the dealer and the cat's the house, and they demand to see your hands! 😹🃏👌"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

  Commentary:
  "When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like every rose ceremony comes with its own stethoscope! 🌹😉 #MedicalDeviceSalesGoals"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: “Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

  Commentary:
  "Watching 'Real Housewives' is the closest I’ll ever get to a successful acting career! 🎬😂 #NoOscarsNeeded"

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