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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Trending via X:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Making waves on Telegram:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Just shared via Slack:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

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So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.
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Commentary:
Trying to nail my audition for heaven, but I keep taking extended coffee breaks like it's my day job 😅☕️👼🔥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Breaking via WeChat:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Just shared via Discord:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Making waves on Reddit:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Just shared via Threads:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Trending via Instagram:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Going viral on Discord:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

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