Commentary:
Wonder if heaven's prosecutor gets paid in good karma or just really nice hugs 😂👼⚖️
16 Funny heaven quotes
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”
Commentary:
Trying to flirt your way out of eternal damnation: Noted. 😈😂
Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.
Commentary:
Angels taking notes on my perfect fit ✨📏👼 #FashionGuides
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.
Commentary:
I didn’t see this in the Bible study guide, but I’m definitely interested in the director’s cut. 😂📖🐶
I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.
Commentary:
"Sounds divine! Just make sure he's got 'Handle With Care' written all over him! 😉🎁✨"
“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?
Commentary:
"I hate small talk!" Oh okay. Do you think all young goats are called kids because they're kidding around with small talk too much? 🐐😆 #SmallTalkSucks
Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.
Commentary:
"Who knew angels could rock a 9 to 5 job in style?! 😇💼 Clearly, this heavenly being prefers spreadsheets over harps! 😂 #AngelsonDuty"
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?
Commentary:
"Me, in heaven: 🌥️ 'Excuse me, could you snap a quick pic of me casually perched on that fluffy cloud over there? It's just for my Insta feed, no biggie.' 😇📸 #CloudNineGoals"
Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.
Commentary:
Looks like even heaven isn't safe from those pesky app downloads! 😂📱 Maybe there's an eternity of software updates waiting for us on the other side! 🌟 #HeavenlyApps #EternalDownloads