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Commentary:
"Ah, the audacity of that restless amoeba changing the course of evolution! Now we have to deal with Mondays, the struggle is real 🙄🌊 #BlameTheAmoeba"

absurdity, amoeba, evolution, humor, i, leave, life, little, Monday, ocean, responsibility, stupid, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

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2 months ago

homebody, homes, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, own, people, separately, unite, want
Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

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2 months ago

bulletproof, bulletproof vest, gun, humor, logic, men, pill, relationship, responsibility, sense, shoot, should, take, vest
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

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2 months ago

activity, chase, craving, cream, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, running, truck
Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

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2 months ago

after, cat, days, easy, humor, pet, relationship, training, wants
Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

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2 months ago

before, chance, confidence, coworkers, dominance, humor, sarcasm, say, tired, work, workplace
How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

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2 months ago

dark, humor, irony, life, light, Monday, time, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

61 shares on Threads this month:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

70 shares on Threads this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

65 shares on X this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Going viral on WeChat:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Making waves on TikTok:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Seen just now on Threads:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Just shared via Instagram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Just landed via Reddit:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨