Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.