Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Seen just now on X:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the universe misses your memo for 'Spontaneous Office Barbecue Day'! 🔥😂🏢

building, depressing, disappointment, humor, irony, moment, pull, sarcasm, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

0

5 months ago

backpack, bring, childhood, day, elementary, elementary school, free, freedom, having, i, last, last day, nostalgia, school, time, truly
Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

0

3 months ago

animal, animal behavior, baby, behavior, cat, crying, every, hours, humor, i, nap, regret, regrets, responsibility, say, sleep, tiredness, wake, want, why, zero
“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

0

2 months ago

Bachelor, clothes, iron, just, morning, stupid, thought, work
I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

0

2 months ago

catch, cheaper, cost-saving, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, me, membership, money, running, wants
Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

0

5 months ago

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why
I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

0

2 months ago

boredom, checking, humor, i, keep, loneliness, me, mean, media, phone, self-deprecating, silly, social, social media, somebody, something, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

98 shares on Threads this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

26 shares on Slack this month:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

79 shares on X this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Live now on WeChat:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Trending via Threads:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Making waves on Threads:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨