Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.
  • A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”
  • I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.
  • Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.
  • Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.
  • 8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.