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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

24 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Going viral on Threads:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Just landed via Discord:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Going viral on Reddit:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Trending via Messenger:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Making waves on Telegram:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

5 months ago

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal conflict between seeking peace and courting adventure! 🌊🌙 Living in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory sounds like the perfect mix of tranquility and suspense. Who needs a cozy beach cottage when you can have a haunted mansion by the sea? Ghostly neighbors and mysterious sea monsters included! 👻🏝 #SpookyScenicViews

backstory, coastal, gothic, humor, irony, lifestyle, live, seaside, seaside town, sleepy, spooky, terrifying, town, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

24 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Going viral on Reddit:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Going viral on Telegram:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Just shared via Instagram:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Shared recently on Discord:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

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