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Ah, the eternal conflict between seeking peace and courting adventure! 🌊🌙 Living in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory sounds like the perfect mix of tranquility and suspense. Who needs a cozy beach cottage when you can have a haunted mansion by the sea? Ghostly neighbors and mysterious sea monsters included! 👻🏝 #SpookyScenicViews

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

1 month ago
being, book, details, dumb, dumb shit, humor, important, important details, life, open, open book, overshare, people, person, private, private person, secret, shit, tell, think
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

1 month ago
consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time
My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

1 month ago
doctor, hanging, health, humor, joke, just, left, me, medicine, prescription, relationship, Viagra
Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

2 months ago
coworker, hit, humor, i, just, office, reminder, rules, stupid, workplace
This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

1 month ago
around, busy, doom, doom scroll, downtime, i, internet, leisure, media, pajamas, relaxation, rest, scroll, sit, social, social media, time, weekend
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

2 months ago
asleep, calculations, fall, fall asleep, humor, insomnia, math, night, rest, right, skills, sleep, spend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

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Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

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At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

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I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

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Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

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Trending via YouTube:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Spotted on Threads:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

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Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

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I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

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Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Trending via YouTube:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

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The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

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The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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