Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Just landed via Telegram:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via Threads:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Making waves on Slack:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When standing up feels like defusing a bomb left by Father Time ⏰💣😂

50s, after, aging, danger, dangerous, humor, most, movement, sitting, step, steps

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

0

3 months ago

heathen, humor, invisible, joke, only, post
I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

0

5 months ago

alone, days, else, everyone, getaway, house, humor, i, kind, myself, need, relaxation, solitude, vacation, where
According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

0

2 months ago

30, communication, distraction, humor, middle, new, people, sentence, study, trail, trail off
Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

0

2 months ago

activity, dye, gun, humor, i, joke, just, man, once, paintball, shot, watch
IP address? You mean the bathroom?

0

5 months ago

address, bathroom, humor, ip, IP address, joke, mean, misunderstanding, technology
(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

0

4 months ago

again, dating, humor, i, life, low, low point, motivation, point, relationship, should, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Going viral on Discord:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Live now on WeChat:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Live now on Messenger:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨