Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Just landed via Facebook:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Trending via TikTok:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Making waves on Discord:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Seen just now on X:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about aging, highlighting the funny challenge of movement in your 50s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When standing up feels like defusing a bomb left by Father Time ⏰💣😂

50s, after, aging, danger, dangerous, humor, most, movement, sitting, step, steps

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

67 shares on X this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

85 shares on X this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

37 shares on X this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Just landed via Discord:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Breaking via Threads:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Going bananas on Telegram:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Trending via Discord:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨