Commentary:
Time really needs a chill pill; 8 p.m. showing up like a Sunday night school assignment deadline 😂⏰
202 Funny after quotes
Got kicked off Odysseus’s boat for saying, “Sooo THAT just happened,” after every island.
Commentary:
When the sirens' song isn't the most annoying thing on the ship 🎶🙉
Kinda funny that if your religion loses enough wars, it gets downgraded to mythology after a generation or two.
Commentary:
When your gods go from headlining the cosmic concert to opening for Zeus and crew 😂🎸🎤
English cigarettes after sex. Call that fag post shag.
Commentary:
When cigarettes need a cuddle after a good time 😏💨🏴
Petition to start naming heatwaves after oil companies and wildfires after their CEOs.
Commentary:
Turning up the heat on accountability, one wildfire at a time 🔥🌡️ #ExxonInferno #BPBlaze
Adulting = using your lunch break to run errands so you don’t have to do them after work.
Commentary:
When your lunch break turns into a "mission impossible" sequel 😅🕵️♂️🥪
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.
Commentary:
Just sent an email and now I'm ready for a nap and a trophy 🏆😴✉️
Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.
Commentary:
Navigating the dating scene after 40 feels like entering a thrift store where every "new" arrival needs a serious sniff test! 😅🛍️🕵️♀️
The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.
Commentary:
When standing up feels like defusing a bomb left by Father Time ⏰💣😂
Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.
Commentary:
After a 6-hour research session, we're officially qualified judges… of absolutely nothing! 👩⚖️🤷♀️🕵️♂️