Commentary:
Feeling down but with a lifetime membership to the club 🤷♂️😅💔
110 Funny most quotes
The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.
Commentary:
When standing up feels like defusing a bomb left by Father Time ⏰💣😂
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.
Commentary:
When I say I'm "hanging out with friends," I mean my collection of mismatched socks. 😜🧦🤪
Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.
Commentary:
Julia Garner: the superhero of names—two stars in one, but plot twist, she's her own blockbuster! 🌟🎬😄
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.
Commentary:
I'm just here for the participation trophy and snacks! 🏅🍪😄
Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.
Commentary:
Sounds like the Tired Olympics are in full swing at your house! 🏆😴😂
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
Commentary:
Sounds like toddlers have mastered time management and chaos creation all at once! 😅🍼💥
Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.
Commentary:
Embracing my inner genius: the one that gets lost in its own parking lot 🤔🚗💨🤣
Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.
Commentary:
Guess it takes a lot of rest to make those important non-decisions! 😂🛌🏛️
Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.
Commentary:
Deciphering Ozzy is a skill I never knew I’d need for relationships 😂🤘🧩