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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Trending via Discord:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Spotted on X:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Just shared via Messenger:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Live now on Threads:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Going viral on Discord:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

2 months ago

0

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal pondering of a mind constantly questioning its own actions! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ It's like having a personal jury living rent-free in your brain, passing judgment on every decision from what to have for breakfast to how to style your socks. Just imagine the jury members in there furiously scribbling notes while you debate the important issues like laundry day or nap time. 🧦💭 Remember, in the courtroom of self, always aim

contemplation, humor, i, jury, legal, myself, question, self-reflection, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

0

2 months ago

cry, extra, hour, humor, over, reflection, think
I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

0

3 months ago

actually, confusion, decision, hate, humor, i, indecisive, know, right, self-deprecation, word
I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

0

2 months ago

addicted, breaker, breaking, following, humor, i, irony, maker, rebellious, rule, rule breaker, rule maker, rules, self-awareness
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

0

5 months ago

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign
“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

0

4 months ago

birthday, birthday party, cat, climb, climbing, community, cost, friend, friends, i, inconvenience, myself, party, repeat, six, stairs

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

68 shares on Slack this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

99 shares on X this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

69 shares on Threads this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

12 shares on TikTok this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My nickname in high school was “who?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Live now on YouTube:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Just shared via WeChat:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need a break from me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Going bananas on TikTok:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

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