Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seize the flirting opportunities like there's no tomorrow! 😉 Who knows, your future might just be a flirty fairy tale waiting to happen! 💫 #LiveLifeFlirtiliciously"

flirt, fun, humor, need, promise, relationship, spontaneity, today, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
Even wild things have slow mornings.

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2 months ago

even, humor, morning, mornings, relatable, slow, slow morning, thing, things, wild, wild thing
It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

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2 months ago

cold, dark, humor, me, outside, relationship, think, weather, winter
There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

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2 months ago

Dracula, humor, i, just, skepticism, something, trust, vampire
Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

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2 months ago

anytime, assumption, book, event, finished, Gatsby, great, humor, i, literary, never, party, social, social event, someone, theme
English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

0

2 months ago

confusion, drink, English, fake, food, humor, language, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Making waves on Telegram:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Just landed via Telegram:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Going viral on Twitch:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Just shared via Threads:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Just shared via X:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Trending via Pinterest:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Even wild things have slow mornings.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨