Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just shared via Telegram:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Making waves on Slack:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about how we casually accept a meat tentacle in our mouth.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it bizarre how we nonchalantly house a meaty tentacle in our mouths? 🦑 It's like having a strange, unsuspecting roommate who loves to taste-test everything before we do. 🤪 Maybe we should throw a tiny welcome party for our tongue next time! 🎉 #MeatTentacleLife"

absurdity, acceptance, humor, inside, just, living, meat, mouth, normal, tentacle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

42 shares on X this month:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Making waves on X:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Breaking via Reddit:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Trending via Telegram:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Making waves on Instagram:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴