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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Seen just now on Discord:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Spotted on Slack:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Trending via TikTok:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Just shared via Telegram:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Seen just now on Discord:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Shared recently on X:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Trending via Facebook:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

6 months ago

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're leading the life of a nocturnal squirrel 🐿️! Up in the morning feeling like nap time, and at night tossing and turning like a restless sloth 🦥. Maybe it's time for a bedtime routine shake-up…or invest in some industrial-strength blackout curtains!😄🌙 #SleepyheadStruggles

asleep, cycle, fall, fall asleep, humor, i, insomnia, issues, morning, night, sleep, sleep issues, sleeping, sleeping cycle, sleepy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Going viral on WeChat:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Just landed via Facebook:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Spotted on Reddit:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Trending via Facebook:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Just shared via Threads:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

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