118 funny living quotes - Wordgag

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

May 30, 2026

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

May 30, 2026

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

May 30, 2026

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

May 30, 2026

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

May 30, 2026

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

May 30, 2026

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

May 30, 2026

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

May 30, 2026

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

May 29, 2026

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

May 29, 2026

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

May 29, 2026

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

May 29, 2026

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

May 29, 2026

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

May 29, 2026

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

May 29, 2026

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

May 29, 2026

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

May 29, 2026

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

May 29, 2026

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

May 29, 2026

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

May 29, 2026

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

May 29, 2026

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

May 29, 2026

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

May 28, 2026

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

May 28, 2026

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

May 28, 2026

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

May 28, 2026

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

May 28, 2026

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

May 28, 2026

Living la vida taco!

May 28, 2026

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

May 28, 2026

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

May 28, 2026

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

May 28, 2026

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

May 28, 2026

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

May 27, 2026

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

May 27, 2026

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

May 27, 2026

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

May 27, 2026

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

May 27, 2026

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

May 27, 2026

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

May 27, 2026