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Commentary:
"Well, who needs sleepless nights and dirty diapers when you can have a sparkling clean bank account and a fancy vacation home in the Bahamas instead? Money talks, and apparently, it convinced this couple to invest in themselves rather than in diapers!"

children, decision, humor, lifestyle, money, parenting, priorities

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh good. Another day.

1 month ago

another, day, good, humor, irony, oh, pessimism, routine, sarcasm
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

1 month ago

25, accomplishment, alive, collection, feeling, hobby, humor, i, never, random, screw, time, used
By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

1 month ago

acceptance, guilt, humor, pardon, Thanksgiving, turkey
I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

4 months ago

affection, flirtation, hands, humor, i, keep, love, man, me, please, touch, touchy-feely, yes
People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

1 day ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

1 month ago

cost, costs, daily, daily expense, day, exist, existence, expense, feels, financial, financial struggle, humor, inflation, just, money, struggle

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Going viral on Slack:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Spotted on Twitch:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

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Activity Log ✨

We decided to have money instead of children.

Oh good. Another day.

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

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We decided to have money instead of children.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oh good. Another day.

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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