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Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Making waves on Telegram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Just shared via TikTok:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about environmental efforts, featuring a playful jab at electric cars and conservation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Doing your part for the planet, one unplug at a time! Who knew saving the environment could be so easy? 🌏⚡️😂 #EnvironmentalHero"

car, cars, conservation, day, electric, electric car, environment, humor, i, nobody, planet, responsibility, row, unplug

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45 shares on Reddit this month:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

93 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Breaking via Telegram:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Trending via Pinterest:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Spreading quickly via X:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

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We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

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Activity Log ✨

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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