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97 Funny car quotes

New funny car quotes 👇

  • If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

    Commentary:
    “🚗 Elbow etiquette 101: my car, my throne, my middle piece. 😂 Keep your elbows to your seat or prepare for a joust! 🤺”

  • There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

    Commentary:
    “Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸”

  • I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

    Commentary:
    “Fashion tip: If your outfit requires a helicopter landing pad just to walk to your car, you’re probably winning the runway game! 🚁👗😂”

  • Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

    Commentary:
    “Why pay for therapy when you can have a Grammy-winning performance in traffic? 🚗🎤🎶”

  • Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

    Commentary:
    “Brb, taking my car for a ‘check-up’ — hope it doesn’t need any band-aids! 🚗👨‍⚕️🤣”

  • There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

    Commentary:
    Looks like we’ve got a new public health crisis: “Car-itis”—the mysterious urge to park and peer into that glowing screen! 🚗📱 Maybe they’re just trying to see if their cars have feelings too, or auditioning for the next “Fast & Furious: Smartphone Edition.” 😂 Who knew parked cars could be the hottest new social hotspots? Remember, folks: your phone can wait—your car might need a break too! 🚙✨

  • The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your glove box is playing hard to get! 🤣🧤 Maybe it’s just practicing for the “hand” of friendship — or maybe it’s secretly a minimalist with a sense of humor! 🚗😂

  • Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, I can’t hear your childhood struggles over the sound of me manually cranking up my car windows. 💪😂 #90sProblems”

  • I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

    Commentary:
    “I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do a lot of active activities, but little do they know it’s just for show… 🚲😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt”

  • All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

    Commentary:
    “All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so when you accidentally hit someone’s ride in the parking lot, you can just blame it on high-fives gone wrong! 🚗🙌😜”

For even more funny car quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny car quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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