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Commentary:
Looks like someone's playing tricks with the laundry again! 👖🧐 Either that or your jeans went on a diet without telling you! 😆 #MysteryOfTheShrinkingJeans

blame, clothing, frustration, humor, jeans, mystery, shrink, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

0

2 months ago

date, guy, humor, jealousy, me, movie, movie star, Pete Davidson, relationship, star, want, whining, women
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

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2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, comparison, dog, family, humor, kids, listen, parenting, pets, well
That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

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2 months ago

brains, fear, humor, irony, moment, past, situation, surprise, walking, walks, zombie
Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

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2 months ago

communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today
As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

back, beer, drink, humor, i, science, soon, sun, want, weather
All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

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2 months ago

am, communication, expression, humor, i, introvert, podcast, saying, shy, transformation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

15 shares on Discord this month:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

22 shares on Discord this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Seen just now on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Spotted on TikTok:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Trending via Facebook:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Spotted on X:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just shared via Telegram:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨