31 funny blame quotes - Wordgag

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

May 30, 2026

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

May 30, 2026

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

May 30, 2026

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

May 30, 2026

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

May 29, 2026

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

May 29, 2026

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

May 27, 2026

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

May 27, 2026

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

May 27, 2026

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

May 27, 2026

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

May 26, 2026

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

May 26, 2026

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

May 25, 2026

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

May 25, 2026

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

May 25, 2026

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

May 25, 2026

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

May 24, 2026

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

May 24, 2026

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

May 24, 2026

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

May 24, 2026

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

May 23, 2026

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

May 22, 2026

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

May 22, 2026

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

May 22, 2026

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

May 22, 2026

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

May 21, 2026

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

May 21, 2026

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

May 21, 2026

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

May 20, 2026

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

May 20, 2026

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

May 19, 2026