Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Trending via YouTube:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Trending via Discord:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Just shared via Instagram:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Going viral on Facebook:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Live now on WeChat:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Trending via Snapchat:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When "buddy" hits you harder than any official title ever could 🤣👌#FriendZoneBurn

buddy, disrespect, guy, guys, humor, respect, slur, stereotype, white, white guy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

0

2 months ago

drawer, frustration, household, household item, humor, impossible, item, items, open, purpose
Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

0

2 months ago

am, auto-reply, break, day, email, emails, forwarding, good, humor, i, message, nowhere, office, out of office, read, unread, vacation, work, work break
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

0

2 months ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

0

2 months ago

activity, am, carrying, fall, humor, i, over, person, second, shopping, time, walk
Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

0

4 weeks ago

bros., buy, buyout, cash, corporate, corporate buyout, enough, entertainment, family, irony, mom, Netflix, password, password sharing, passwords, poor, service, shared, sharing, streaming, streaming service, warner, Warner Bros.
Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

0

2 months ago

animal, asking, cat, emotional, emotional support, humor, participation, still, support, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

97 shares on X this month:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Spotted on Instagram:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just landed via Telegram:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Spotted on TikTok:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨