Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.