Commentary:
When your literary standards are so high, even Dua Lipa can't hit the right note 🎶📚😂
148 Funny guy quotes
Asking a guy on the plane to switch seats so I can sit with his family.
Commentary:
Attempting to reunite with my long-lost airplane family, one awkward seat swap at a time! ✈️😂👨👩👧👦
Knowing a guy who knows a guy will genuinely take you further in life than a degree ever could.
Commentary:
That's why networking is called making "connections" and not "degree-ing"! 😂🔌📚
Dating tip: if a guy tells you he’s not very political, he’s conservative but has learned that won’t get him laid.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's still waiting for his political compass to load… ⏳🔄💼
Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that.
Commentary:
So if Jonathan can become Nathan, does that mean my diet can become a donut? 🍩🤔
You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.
Commentary:
This is why I charge my friends a cover fee just to enter my living room 😂🎤💸
No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.
Commentary:
Sounds about right! Guess Cupid needs a GPS these days 😆💘📍
My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.
Commentary:
Arguing with Grok: the new extreme sport for when you can't find Wi-Fi in the deep woods. 🤔🦖💬
I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.
Commentary:
Whale, I guess they thought that name was "sperm"-endous! 😂🐋🔞
Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.
Commentary:
When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹