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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

41 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Spotted on Reddit:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Breaking via TikTok:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Home » Funny Guy Quotes

89 Funny guy quotes

Funny guy quotes bring out the humor in the quirks, habits, and often-confusing ways men navigate life! 😂🙋‍♂️ Whether it’s their unique approach to problem-solving, love for gadgets, or complete lack of direction in a shopping mall, these quotes highlight the funny side of being a guy. Because when it comes to men, humor is never in short supply! 😆🤷‍♂️🎮

New funny guy quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Commentary:
Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
1 week ago
Share →: The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Commentary:
An audacity of reply guys: where every comment is a standing ovation to their own opinion 😂🙌
1 week ago
Share →: You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Commentary:
"Looks like we're a couple of typographical opposites—guess we'll just have to 'LOL' about it! 😆😂 #HahaVsLol"
1 week ago
Share →: Cool times create cool guys.

Commentary:
"Guess I was born in the wrong century then! 😎🕰️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Commentary:
"When you mix up Ivy League with 'I Violate Laws' 🤦‍♂️🚔🎓"
2 weeks ago
Share →: A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Commentary:
"Guess I've got a face for *all* occasions! 😎😂🕶️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Commentary:
"Dracula must have a batty good glam squad for that eyeliner! 🦇🎨✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Commentary:
"When 'Who's your daddy?' takes a plot twist! 😅🍼 #UnexpectedPositivity"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
1 month ago
Share →: I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Commentary:
"When your name is practically a job description, you're destined for greatness! 😄👨‍💼 #JustAGuyThings"

For even more funny guy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny guy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

41 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Reported on WhatsApp:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Making waves on Twitch:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Trending via YouTube:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Just landed via X:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

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