35 funny white quotes - Wordgag

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

May 26, 2026

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

May 25, 2026

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

May 24, 2026

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

May 24, 2026

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

May 24, 2026

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

May 23, 2026

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

May 23, 2026

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

May 23, 2026

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

May 23, 2026

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

May 23, 2026

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

May 23, 2026

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

May 22, 2026

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

May 22, 2026

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

May 21, 2026

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

May 21, 2026

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

May 21, 2026

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

May 20, 2026

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

May 20, 2026

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

May 20, 2026

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

May 20, 2026

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

May 19, 2026

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

May 19, 2026

Never did learn what the knights in white sat in.

May 18, 2026

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Apr 1, 2026

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Apr 1, 2026

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Apr 1, 2026

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Mar 31, 2026

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Mar 31, 2026

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Mar 31, 2026

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Mar 31, 2026

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Mar 30, 2026

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Mar 30, 2026

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Mar 29, 2026

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Mar 29, 2026