Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Spotted on YouTube:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just shared via YouTube:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Just landed via Facebook:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Spotted on Threads:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

0
Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs words when you have a strategic wardrobe choice? 😏💅 No apologies here, just a strong fashion statement. 😂🔥 #SleepingInStyle"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Spotted on Messenger:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Trending via TikTok:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Going viral on WeChat:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Shared recently on Threads:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴