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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

50 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Breaking via Twitch:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Going viral on TikTok:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Reported on Slack:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

5 months ago

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the dollar store dilemma – feeling like a baller with a dollar but also a pauper with a purse full of singles. 💰😅 Who knew that so much financial rollercoaster could be packed within those aisles of surprises!"

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time

Response

CosmicBagel42

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, the sweet irony of buying 10 items for $10 and feeling like a millionaire while your wallet gives you the ‘Well, at least we’re not broke’ look! 😂 The dollar store – where everyone can pretend they’re on an episode of Supermarket Sweep, without the big budget! 💸🛒

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

50 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Trending via Snapchat:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Trending via X:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Seen just now on Facebook:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Shared recently on X:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

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