Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like you're ready to take the 'mug' in 'mugshot' a bit too literally! 🤪📸 Time to show the world our 'arresting' personalities, eh? 😂 #UnhingedAndProud"

activity, adventure, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, lighthearted, mugshots, sound, spontaneity, unhinged

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

4 weeks ago

activity, humor, i, just, old, old person, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, person, relaxation, sit, sit outside, understand, why
Onion rings? I’m answering.

1 month ago

answer, answering, food, humor, joke, onion, onion ring, ring, rings
Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

4 weeks ago

blessing, contrast, dirty, dirty mind, face, having, humor, innocent, innocent face, mind, personality, truly
Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

1 month ago

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character
Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

4 weeks ago

before, both, burger, cautious, Chinese, Chinese burger, food, food search, Googling, humor, looking, looking over shoulder, over, search, shoulder, shoulders
Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

4 weeks ago

age, am, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, old, people, sarcasm

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

72 shares on Slack this month:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Spotted on Telegram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Trending via Facebook:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Making waves on TikTok:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Spotted on Slack:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨