Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”
  • At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.
  • I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.
  • Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.
  • If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?
  • We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.