My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Commentary:
Looks like the mess is on a strict need-to-know basis only! 🤫🚫 Who knew secrecy was a crucial element in housekeeping? 😂🧹 #TopSecretMess

, , , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →
Follow us on Facebook →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the ancient Starbucks ritual of summoning the barista’s creativity with a perplexing order 😄🔮 It’s like a caffeinated incantation meant to bring forth the ultimate fusion of flavors in a cup! Just remember to add a side of magical sprinkles and a pinch of unicorn dust for good measure! 🦄☕✨

  • If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

    Commentary:
    “Using The Force for the real Jedi essentials! 💫🥜 Who needs to battle the Dark Side when you can conquer the shell of a pistachio effortlessly? Priorities, right? 😄 #JediSnackingSkills”

  • Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the fun game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ but with our aches and pains instead! 🧐🕵️‍♂️ Who knew adulthood came with its own version of hide-and-seek? 🙈💼 Just when you think you’ve found relief, *poof* it’s off to a new spot! 🎯🤣 #AdultingAdventures”

  • Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

    Commentary:
    “Seems like Lululemon missed a *melon* opportunity with that one! 🍈🤣 Maybe they’re saving it for their next *busty* venture! 😜”

  • Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

    Commentary:
    “Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to. 🧓📜 Who knew getting older also meant building up your scrolling finger muscles? 💪👴 #AgeIsJustANumber”

  • Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, it’s all about toast priorities – share your friend’s delicious toast while keeping a close eye on your enemy’s toaster… just in case they try to burn it! 🔥🍞😄”