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New funny quotes: 15818 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 30, 2026

 

 

 

 

11 Funny hire quotes

Funny hire quotes bring a splash of humor to the sometimes stressful world of recruiting and job hunting 🎉😂 Whether you’re a boss looking to lighten the mood or a candidate navigating interviews, these witty gems will have you chuckling while making smart hiring decisions 🤹‍♂️💼 Ready to turn the hiring process into a fun adventure? Let’s dive into some laughs that make work feel a little less work! 🎯🚀

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

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