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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Seen just now on X:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Just landed via Reddit:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Making waves on Facebook:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Going bananas on Discord:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Going viral on Instagram:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of decision-making: do we trust the sober mind or the tipsy tongue? 🤔 Perhaps it's all about finding the perfect balance between clarity and 'liquid courage'! 🍸😄 #DecisionsDecisions"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,818

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Trending via Messenger:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Seen just now on Discord:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Going viral on X:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Just landed via WeChat:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Breaking via TikTok:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Live now on Facebook:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

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