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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Trending via Threads:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Going viral on Threads:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Spotted on Messenger:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spotted on X:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Just landed via Telegram:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

4 weeks ago

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of the modern dating world! 🤔 Who knew 'situationships' could be so complex? Are you playing the commitment dodgeball or rocking the low self-worth tango? Either way, it takes two to tango in the land of blurred lines! 💃🕺"

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,900

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Just shared via Messenger:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Trending via Twitch:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Just landed via Reddit:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Live now on X:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just landed via Slack:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

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