Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.
  • Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.
  • All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.
  • If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.
  • Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.
  • Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.