72 funny heart quotes - Wordgag

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

May 29, 2026

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

May 29, 2026

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

May 29, 2026

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

May 29, 2026

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

May 29, 2026

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

May 29, 2026

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

May 29, 2026

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

May 28, 2026

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

May 28, 2026

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

May 28, 2026

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

May 28, 2026

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

May 28, 2026

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

May 28, 2026

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

May 28, 2026

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

May 28, 2026

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

May 27, 2026

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

May 27, 2026

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

May 27, 2026

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

May 27, 2026

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

May 27, 2026

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

May 27, 2026

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

May 27, 2026

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

May 27, 2026

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

May 27, 2026

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

May 27, 2026

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

May 26, 2026

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

May 26, 2026

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

May 26, 2026

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

May 26, 2026

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

May 26, 2026

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

May 25, 2026

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

May 25, 2026

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

May 25, 2026

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

May 24, 2026

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

May 24, 2026

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

May 24, 2026

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

May 24, 2026

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

May 24, 2026

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

May 24, 2026

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

May 24, 2026