Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.
  • Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.
  • I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.
  • I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.
  • Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.
  • In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.