Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?
  • Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.
  • Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.
  • Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.
  • I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
  • Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.